I just don't get men.

I was on vacation a few months ago for a friend's wedding and ended up spending a lot of time with one of the groom's friends.  We got really close, had lots of fun, flirted up a storm and basically hooked up a few times.  Its not in either of our natures to do that.  At that point neither of us were looking to start a relationship long distance.

Fast forward a month and he's moving back to where I live.  He started chats with me just about every day, sometimes flirty chats, and I know he told me things he didn't tell other people.

Fast forward another 2 months and he's finally moved back here.   I didn't really know how things were going to be but I know I was interested in seeing if there was still something between us.  I figured I'd know from how he acted when he saw me how I should proceed - is he going to want to see me, etc.  He came my birthday a few days after getting back and it was the same as on vacation.  Then he asked me and our mutual friends who had gotten married to go hiking or camping the next day and we went camping.  Even shared a he asked me to help pick out that morning.  I thought things had some potential there.  I asked him to help me pick out a backpack and he even offered to return the tent and buy it again so I could take advantage of a special at the store.  We had some coffee out and chatted and I thought things were going well.

Then came the kicker.  You're a great girl but what happened on vacation isn't going to happen again.  I'm sorry but what...the...fuck.  He didn't think we would be long term. Or so he told me the next day when I asked him to meet me so I could tell him we couldn't be friends anymore.  I think he wants the closeness of a girlfriend but not an actual relationship.  I should have known as one of his closest friends told me that he;s fucked up regarding relationships.  What the hell is wrong with guys.


So we're finally down to days!  The boy moves back within the week.  I hope to god that these flirty chats and e-mails have been worth it all.  Not to mention the vacation hook-up which was awesome.

Finally found someone

I finally found someone
after all this time
someone to laugh with
someone to love
someone I could see spending my life with
someone to be with

I've waited all this time for you
And you broke my heart


Guilty and Innocent

RULES:1. You can only say Innocent or Guilty for each question.

2. You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!(So people reading this, if you want an explanation – comment!

3. You must be honest!

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends? Guilty.

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty.

Ever told a lie? Guilty.

Had feelings for someone who you can't have? Guilty.

Ever had feelings for your friend's bf/gf? Innocent

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.

Kissed a picture? Guilty.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Got back together with your ex? Guilty.

Done something you regret? Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn't have? Innocent

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.

Shaved your head? Innocent

Slept naked? Guilty.

Had a gym membership? Guilty.

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Guilty.

Been in a band? Guilty

Donated Blood? Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn't? Innocent.

Have a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent.

Been too honest? Guilty.

Ruined a surprise? Guilty.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)? Guilty.

Had communication with your ex? Guilty.

Got so angry that you cried? Guilty.

Stolen somebodies partner? Innocent

Made yourself throw up? Guilty.

Have you ever...

1. taken a picture naked?

2. painted your room?

3. made out with a member of the same sex?
not really

4. drove a car?

5. danced in front of your mirror?

6. have a crush?

7. been dumped?

8. stole money from a friend?

9. gotten in the car with people you didnt know?
I've been in cars with people I didn't know for long

10. been in a fist fight?

11. had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

12. had feelings for a friend?

14. made out with a stranger?

15. met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

16. left your house with out telling your parents?
not really an issue but I usually tell people where I'm going

17. had a crush on your neighbor?

18. ditched school to do something more fun?

19. slept (not had sex) in a bed with a member of the same sex?

20. seen someone die?

21. been on a plane?

22. kissed a picture?

23. slept in until 3?
not for a long time (being sick doesn't count really)

24. miss someone right now?

25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

26. made a snow angel?

27. played dress up?

28. cheated while playing a game?

29. been lonely?

30. fallen asleep at work/school?
yes and yes

31. been to a bar?

32. felt an earthquake?

33. touched a snake?

34. ran a red light?
at 4am I have

35. been suspended from school?

36. had detention?

37. been in a car accident that you didnt cause?

38. hated the way you look?

39. witnessed a crime?

39. been the person doing the crime?

40. pole danced?

41. been lost?

42. been to the opposite side of the country?

43. felt so sick you thought you might die?

44. cried yourself to sleep?

46. sang karaoke?

47. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

48. laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
my god yes

49. caught a snowflake on your tongue?

50. kissed in the rain?

51. sang in the shower?

52. had sex in a park?

53. had a dream where you were married?

54. glued your hand to something?

55. got your tongue/”arm” stuck to a flag pole?

56. ever gone to school partially naked?

57. been a cheerleader?

58. sat on a roof top?

59. didn’t take a shower for a week?
ew. no

60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?

61. played chicken?

62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

64. broken a bone?

65. been easily amused?

66. laughed so hard you cried?

67. mooned/flashed someone?

68. cheated on a test?

69: forgotten someones name?

70. slept naked?

71. gone skinny dipping?

73. blacked out from drinking?

74. played a prank on someone?

75. gone to a late night movie?

76. made love to anything not human?

77. failed a class?

78. choked on something you’re not supposed to eat?

79. played an instrument for more than 10 hours in total?

80. been cheated on?

81. did you celebrate the 4th of July?
no but I celebrated July 1

82. thrown strange objects?
wtf...don't think so

83. felt like killing someone?

84. felt like running away?

86. did drugs?
pot once or twice

87. had detention and not attend it?

89. made a parent cry?

90. cried about someone?

91. had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period?

92. dated someone you didn’t even like?

93. had/have a dog?
had one

95. own an instrument?

96. been in band?

97. drank 25 sodas in a day?

98. broken a CD?

99. shot a gun?

100. had feelings for one of your best friends?


Annnnd he's back. The friend who I'm hopelessly into. He was away for 2 years and there was very sporadic contact and now we once again live in the same town. Since I've been pretty much over it and have gone out with other guys I haven't gone out of my way to hang out with him. Course we have hung out a few times. A long drive, dinner/movie/coffee night, etc. The other night we had some coffee and went to a movie. Then he wanted my opinion on dress shoes...I'm sure the girl helping us had to think we were together - as so many have over the years.

blah...I really don't need this again

(no subject)

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Ran in a road race! 10 miles....never thought in a million years I'd run 10 miles.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think my resolution was to eat better and exercise more. Have to say that I did pretty good there. My resolution is usually the same.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin's wife had a baby - that's probably the closest to me. One of the girls at work is having one early in the new year though.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
2 of my mother's first cousins died. No close friends or immediate family.

5. What countries did you visit?
US (Florida and NYC) and Germany

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A relationship - getting tired of the single scene

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 26 - date of the Tely Ten. FInishing was the best feeling ever

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting to run. It gives you such a great feeling.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Nothing springs immediately to mind. Probably not being as good a friend as I could be

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had the Swine Flu.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new mattress! So comfortable!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My bff and her husband moved home - that was pretty good cause for celebration

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
2 of my friends decided not to be friends anymore. Its so sad to me.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The usual...bills. Stupid student loan payments.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
GERMANY! Never been to Europe before. I was so excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Beyonce - Single Ladies. It was playing when I saw him again downtown.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Happier, thinner and slightly richer!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Wish I'd gotten out more the summer other than running. Training took up so much time I didn't get out on my bike at all.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wish I'd moped less..

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I will spend Christmas at home with my mom. Eat and drink too much, watch some movies. visit the fam.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Nope...course I didn't fall out of love with him despite saying that I had. Apparently I'm a glutten for punishment there.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
True Blood! Show of the summer. Loved it!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Life's too short to hate.

24. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner. Such a great book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lady her and I can't help it. She's awesome.

26. What did you want and get?
Wanted a new couch and got a new couch. Right now I want a wii and would get it if I didn't need new snow tires.

27. What did you want and not get?
Wanted him to grow up and come to his senses already.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
There are more I'm going to see in the next few weeks but right now it'd be Up.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 32 this year. Had dinner with friends and then partied down on the dance floor. Tried to replace him with a different him...didn't work out too well.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
See number 27!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Don't follow trends - keep it classic. And everything looks better with a scarf.

32. What kept you sane?
My mom! She usually does.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This was the year of Alexander tall....

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Climate Change - the climate is changing and I don't understand the skeptics at all.

35. Who did you miss?

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Sharon my boot camp trainer! She's awesome!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
With work you can do anything.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Work it harder, make it better,
do it faster, makes us stronger,
more than ever, never over,
Our work here is never over.